If you’re getting tired of your date nights looking like take-out and a movie on your couch, this DIY date night might be just for you! It’s all about luck, laughter, and serving your partner. This dinner date will be one to remember! Although the date night is simple, the instructions might get a little complicated. Read carefully!

Supplies:

• A dinner consisting of 8 pieces (Example: drink, napkin, fork, spoon, knife, appetizer, main course, dessert)
• Five pieces of paper
• Two pens

Directions:

1. Take a moment and decide together what each of the 8 pieces of your meal will be. Write it out on a piece of paper for you both to see.
2. Prepare each piece of your meal and set it to the side, all ready to go.
3. Each spouse takes one piece of paper. At the top, write your name and “Meal Key.”
4. Write a list with a blank next to each number as follows: 1. Black, 2. Red, 3. Orange, 4. Yellow, 5. Green, 6. Blue, 7. Indigo, 8. Violet
5. Next, without your spouse seeing, fill in each line of your key randomly with the 8 dinner pieces, as you defined them earlier.
6. Now take your second piece of paper. At the top, write your name and “Meal Choices.”
7. Make a numbered list 1-8. Now, randomly write in one of the previous color options, one on each line. (Black, Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet – in random order)
8. Give your Meal Choices paper to your partner.
9. Now, use your spouse’s Meal Choices and your own Meal Key to serve your spouse with their choices. The first course will be numbers 1-3, second 4-6, and third 7-8. You might end up with a knife, fork, and spoon for a course – but that’s part of the fun!
10. Choose together if you get to keep each of the items per course or if they are taken away before the next course.
11. Throughout your meal, use the questions below to spark conversation and grow closer together!

Questions To Ask During Your Meal:

• Was this date night fun or stressful for you? Why?
• Would you say that you like to be in control? Would you say I like to be in control?
• Do you think I have a healthy response when things are out of my control?
• How can I help you when things feel out of control?
• What’s one thing you want to accomplish in the next month? Year? 5 years?
• How can I help you accomplish those things?
• Have you seen any growth in me over the last 7 months?
• How has our relationship changed since the start of COVID?
• What’s been the hardest part of our relationship so far?
• What’s been the easiest part of our relationship so far?

This DIY date night all about strangers’ stories can be done at home OR in a coffee shop or restaurant! There are a few variations you can choose from, so feel free to pick one that works best for you and your honey. This date night is unique because it takes the focus off of you and your love and onto a stranger—while still bringing the two of you closer!

Supplies:

• A Notebook
• 2 Pens
• A Little Creativity! (And/or this list of short story ideas!)

At A Coffee Shop/Restaurant:

The goal of this date night is to come up with a short story using help from strangers! As you’re sitting with your honey, take a look around the room for help writing your story. Check out these ways you can use your environment to pull in pieces of your story!

• First of all, take a look around the room. Choose one stranger to be the main character. 
• Pick another stranger to infer the location from (if they’re wearing a sports team logo, choose that city; if they have stickers on their computer from another state/country, choose that location; etc.)
• Use the coffee shop or restaurant you’re in to choose the setting/timeline (Is the furniture antique? Set it in the 1920s! Modern? Set it in the future! Find the origin of a dish/drink on the menu and when it was first introduced!)
• Pick another stranger to be the minor character.
• Decide together what the main conflict will be!

Then take some time writing your short story about strangers together.

At Home:

If you don’t feel like going out to a coffee shop or restaurant, try this variation of the date night! Grab that notebook and a couple of pens and sit on a comfy couch with your honey. Get some snacks and drinks together, too, if you want!

The goal of this date night is to write a fictional story about real-life strangers. Now, you have a couple options… If you have a neighbor that you’ve seen around but haven’t met, pick him/her! Or maybe there’s a barista in your local coffee shop that seems fascinating. Choose someone that is a part of both of your lives, but you don’t know very well.

Now, take turns coming up with “facts” about that person! What can you guess about their life based on the minimal interactions you’ve had with them? Where they’re from? What era they would choose to be from? The main conflict in their life? Then, write a short story based on those facts!

If you’re brave enough, next time you see that person, ask a few simple questions to get to know them and see how close you were!

Looking for more DIY date nights? Click here!

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It’s that time of year! The leaves are changing colors and falling. There’s a cool breeze in the air. Pumpkin spice is the flavor of the season. We’ve moved past the laid-back summer and now it’s FALL, the season of football, fun… and romance.

Here are several romantic fall fun date ideas that bring out the best in the season and in your relationship!

(Be aware that there may be limited availability due to social distancing constraints. Have fun, but be safe!)

1. Go to a pumpkin patch. Select a pumpkin. Take it home and carve it.
2. Bake seasonal goodies (pies, cakes, cookies) together.
3. Go antique shopping.
4. Take a carriage ride.
5. Go to a drive-in movie.
6. Listen to your favorite old songs and dance around your home.
7. Take a scenic walk.
8. Go camping.
9. Go apple picking in an orchard.
10. Take a scenic train ride.
11. Take a scenic drive to see fall foliage.
12. Go to a Fall Festival.
13. Go for a hike.
14. Watch a scary movie.
15. Go for a bike ride.
16. Host a game night with friends and family.
17. Take a day trip.
18. Have a picnic either in a park or your backyard.
19. Go for a wine or cider tasting.
20. Go horseback riding.
21. Stargaze and see who can find the most constellations.
22. Rake the leaves, like adults. Jump in the leaves, like kids.
23. Sit in front of a fire and read a book out loud together. 
24. Go to a high school football game.
25. Movie marathon/binge watch your favorite TV series.
26. Go on a local history tour.
27. Take a painting class.
28. Have a bonfire in your backyard and make S’mores.
29. Go on a fall getaway weekend.
30. Take part in a First Things First Virtual Date Night!

Conversation Starters:

Check out this list of 200 questions for couples to get the conversation started.

1. What makes you the happiest?

2. What’s worse? The barista getting your order wrong? Or finding a motorcycle in a parking spot you thought was empty?

3. What food best describes your personality?

4. What are your five most important personal values?

5. What kind of physical touch best says “I love you” to you?

6. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

7. Who is the person, currently alive, that you most want to meet right now?

8. What is your favorite type of romantic gesture?

9. What crazy thing do you want to try someday?

10. What’s one thing I can do to improve our relationship?

Now is the perfect time to get adventurous by exploring your community and creating quality time with each other. Play and fun builds intimacy in your relationship. 

Now, go have some romantic FALL FUN as you try out these date ideas!

With everything couples have been having to focus on lately, it’s no surprise that enhancing communication in marriage might be a bit lacking. I mean, who has time to sit down and have meaningful conversation about anything besides work, school decisions, masks and hand sanitizer?

That being said, what if we get creative for you and give you some fun date nights that set the mood for some lighthearted fun along with the chance to enhance communication in your marriage? Good idea? Great, glad you like it! Let’s get this party started. 

Date Night #1 – Party Under the Stars

Grab some snacks, a candle or two (gotta set the mood for romance right?!), a quilt, change into some comfy clothes (depending on where you live, clothing could be optional ;-)), one smartphone with a stargazing app (Skyview and Star Gazer have great reviews), make sure the kids are tucked into bed, and head on outside for a date under the stars. This is especially fun if you are in the midst of a meteor shower.

While you are searching the night sky for the different constellations, play a variation of the game Never Have I Ever… One person starts by saying, “Never have I ever…” and then finishes the sentence with something they have never done. If neither of you have ever done it, give each other a smooch. Then it is the other person’s turn to say it and complete the sentence. If the other person has done it, no kissy face for you! Unless of course you decide to cheat a bit.

After you’ve played a few rounds, spend some time sharing the answers to these questions:

• What I love most about us is…
• One of my favorite memories about us as a couple is…
• Something I would like for us to do more of as a couple is…

The goal here is not to create a major production, but just something simple that will give you some time to yourselves. Believe it or not, even 30 minutes (we hope you will take longer… just sayin’…) to just be together, playful with each other and talk about lighthearted things will help you feel more connected to one another. Part of what makes a date night great is the anticipation of knowing it’s coming, so grab your calendar and make it a date! Oh, and don’t forget, this is your time to reconnect—so no talking about the kids, bills, work, the in-laws or anything else that could create space between the two of you.

Date Night #2 – Shut the door and turn the lights down low… Spa Night

Talk about a great way to de-stress and create conversation. This date starts earlier in the day as you send text messages to each other creating anticipation about the experience. It’s all about pampering each other. Oh yeah! 

Grab some towels, scented candles (lavender, lemon, or jasmine scents all promote calm), massage oils, bath salts or bubble bath, cucumber slices, and face masks (No, not that kind, silly—the kind you rub on your face and peel off later :-). Create or select a romantic playlist (check out this Warm Fuzzy Playlist on Spotify). Oh, and don’t forget some yummy snacks you can feed to each other. Lock the door and let the fun begin.

To get things started, turn the lights down low, hit play and light the candles.

Next, draw a warm bath and include a bath bomb or bubble bath (hopefully there’s room for two for a nice long soak). If a bath isn’t an option, there’s nothing wrong with a nice steamy shower or just a simple soak for your sore feet. It’s all about washing away the stress and tension of the day and focusing on your love.

Now that you’re a bit more relaxed, it’s time for a couple’s massage. What? You aren’t a professional masseuse? No problem. Actually, massaging each other builds intimacy, creates opportunity for bonding and opens the door for conversation. Don’t underestimate the power of your touch. Oil up the areas you want to massage and teach each other what you like. Try massaging different parts of the body—feet, hands, neck, shoulders, back, etc.

As you continue on your journey to relaxation, you may find putting cucumber slices over your eyes after slathering on a face mask refreshing. If you’re not into the whole face mask thing, maybe just cuddling is your next move, or… well, I’m sure you guys will figure it out. 

If you are looking for a few conversation starters to enhance communication in your marriage…

• What’s one thing you love about our sex life?
• If I could have more of one thing from you it would be…
• One thing I would love for us to do more of together is…

Date Night #3 – Dinner and a trip around the world—virtually…

a staycation of sorts. This date starts with the two of you dreaming about the places you would like to go, but can’t right now. Once you have made your list of places, narrow it down to your top three. Based on your top three choices, decide on a food theme, where you will eat your meal (at the table, on the patio, in bed or somewhere else). What kind of environment do you want based on the places you will visit? Music? Candles? What’s the appropriate attire for your date? Do you want to cook the meal or will you order it from somewhere? Cooking together can add to the fun… or not. That’s for you to decide. 

Now that you have all of that decided, once dinner is ready and you are eating, you can either take a trip around the world visiting the places you would like to go some day OR you can take a trip down memory lane and go through pictures from previous trips to the places you love and want to visit again.

Here are some conversation starters for the trip you decide to take:

• What makes our marriage adventurous?
• One of the things I look forward to most about taking this trip with you is… OR My favorite memory of us on a trip was when…
• One day, I would love for the two of us to…

★ Now, you may be wondering how in the world any of these dates will enhance communication in your marriage. Glad you asked.

For communication to flow easily between spouses, people need to feel cared for, connected, a bond, safe, valued, and a sense of closeness. 

When you are intentional about dating, especially dates where you take the time to open up to each other, check in, where you can be playful with each other, and dream together about the future, you are laying the foundation to enhance communication in your marriage.

Wait, what? You’ve had so much fun with these three dates, you want more?! Well okay. 

How about this? FTF has created a special couple toolkit—5 Days to Better Communication in Your Marriage. Don’t worry. It’s not intense— just filled with practical strategies for helping you get to where you want to be as a couple when it comes to communication. Go ahead, check it out. You’ll be glad you did.

***If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Hotline for Domestic Abuse. At this link, you can access a private chat with someone who can help you 24/7. If you fear your computer or device is being monitored, call the hotline 24/7 at: 1−800−799−7233. For a clear understanding of what defines an abusive relationship, click here.***

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